Some poking

at the grate if the mantlepiece looks this good

New Potatoes

There's great eatin' in them new potatoes they'll certainly make your toes curl anyway.

Dickie Rock

Aww, he was some singer in his day, with eye lids like saucepans, he could dazzle a woman from 4 feet away. We will always remember Dickie Rock with a smile a mile wide. He would have you twisting till the night fell away and they were sweeping up round ye.

I only smoke Woodbines

Nothing like a good woodbine to clear the head and make ye thankful for the air that god put on this earth to serve us, me, yer mammy and yer daddy and wee liam in the sky.

Isn't that a fine Dog

a fine dog

Dead Turkeys

I'd barely peeked from behind me eye whiskers when I heard an awful thud on me door. T'was Blind Mickey chawin' cud at the doorstep, gyping about among me milkbottles, sure as soon as i through on the trousers and roped it up I had the latch loosened and he was in on top of me. 'Well, isn't it Gertie Adams, as I choke on me pipe?'. 'Will ye quit Mick, sure i'm foundered here in me night shirt and no wellingtons, come in till I light a fire.' 'Surely, if theres a pot brewin'. He bowled in and slumped in me oul Mothers knitting chair, god rest her, she was awful fond of making them mittens. 'So, Mick, what has you waking up the divil at this time of night'. 'Ach, you know me, always galavanting.''Mick, now what are lookin' me fer?'. 'Turkeys'. 'Fetching, a lock o' dead Turkeys that's diseased with the founder and festering up my side shed and firing them down to oul John Joes dump.'

I like Hedges

Oh bejaysus, I love a good hedge, strong branches, deep rooted, plenty o' leaves on her; keeps the sheep in and the gourier gobshites out.